Archive for the 'Self Improvement Center' Category
Thursday, February 26th, 2009
How often have we heard others talk about how ‘intelligent’ they consider someone to be? Intelligence is a description of how good someone is at mentally doing something. Intelligence involves thought. Intelligence includes the ability to reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, comprehend ideas and language and to learn.
Do you consider yourself to be intelligent?
Schools and the education system would have us believe that we are only intelligent if we are able to solve complex abstract problems or remember facts and figures. I would agree that this is a type of intelligence and this type of intelligence is normally referred to as IQ or ‘intelligence quotient’ (a phrase coined by an American psychologist named Lewis Terman).
A small proportion of the population has a high IQ and they find the academic type of learning and activities in school relatively easy. But the vast majority of people don’t. So where does that leave everyone else?
Well, the good news is that IQ is not a measure of success. Most people with a high IQ do not go on to be as successful as their IQ score may lead us to believe. Most people with a high IQ take reasonably well paid, but routine, employment. Most are not happy with risk and rather limit their own success by becoming ‘comfortable’ and fall far short of what their potential suggests.
There is another type of intelligence that may be more important to success in life and this has been publicised by the best-selling book “Emotional Intelligence” (or EQ) by Daniel Goleman (although the term was first used several years earlier by two academics – Mayer and Salovey).
EQ has to do with recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions.
EQ is the capacity to create positive outcomes in our relationships with ourselves and others. These learnable skills create joy, love, and success of all kinds.
Studying EQ it becomes clear that IQ has less to do with success in life than EQ. The good news is that we all have EQ and that it can be developed. We can develop our EQ to help us build our relationships with others, to use our emotions appropriately, to focus our efforts and to become more successful in life.
EQ may be so important that it could be the best predictor of who will succeed in any area of life.
Can we look beyond IQ and EQ?
When you look at the world, do you see only space and time, mass and energy, logic and reason? Or do you also see connectivity and design, purpose and meaning, faith and mystery?
In his book “What’s your SQ?” Michael Guillen has developed the idea of ’spiritual intelligence’ or SQ. SQ considers your views beyond the materialistic living of modern life. Without spirituality it is possible to become very unhappy or dissatisfied with life no matter how much material possessions we accumulate.
Can you be successful if you are not truly happy? I would argue not and that a balance of IQ, EQ and SQ are necessary for a happy and successful life.
Are there any other forms of intelligence? Yes, there is another important theory on multiple intelligences and you can read about that in another article.
To be happy and successful in life focus on your EQ and SQ. If you are fortunate enough to have some IQ too then all the better – but don’t rely on your IQ alone.
© 2005 Max Wiseman
http://www.maxwiseman.com
Max is a learning expert and believes that learning is the key to success in life. Visit his website for more inspirational and thought provoking learning articles.
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Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
My business experience has taught me one true thing: That maximizing your productivity, happiness, peace, or impact can best be accomplished if you clearly understand the 12 Rules of Time.
1. Have goals
Being more efficient with your time is irrelevant if you don’t know how you want to spend it. In managing time, the compass is more important than the clock. Know where you want to go and spend your time on the things that get you there.
Many people spend energy trying to be more efficient without first doing what’s important: setting goals. It’s like being lost on your way to a new city. Driving faster doesn’t help if you are going in the wrong direction. Figure out what direction to go in and head that way.
Once you’ve prepared it, your list of goals will reveal what is important to you.
2. Analyze how you spend your time
It is always good to know how you’re spending your time right now. You can track this by setting a timer to go off every 15 minutes; whenever it sounds, write down exactly what you are doing. Alternatively, divide your day into 15-minute blocks and record each activity you do.
Once you have your time logs, examine them. How do they compare to your goals? Are you spending time where your priorities are?
3. Keep a to-do list
This sounds too simple, but it really is the basis of all time-management systems. Your to-do list can be electronic, on fancy paper, bound in a notebook or loose-leaf. The key is to have everything you want to accomplish on one list. My to-do list might have a one-line item on it, such as “write annual report,” which refers me to a much larger file or even a file box on that item.
4. Prioritize your list
Once you have the list, determine which are the important items. Mark these with a highlighter, a red pen, or in any other way that makes them stand out.
I sometimes find my to-do list is too big. Every item on the list calls out “pay attention to me!”, even though most of them weren’t highlighted as important. In these cases, I take a blank sheet of paper and cover my to-do list and write down only the three or four most important items. Those are the ones to focus on.
5. Control procrastination
I use a number of tricks to break any lingering tendencies to procrastinate. For instance, I happen to like having a hard copy of my digital to-do list. I reprint it every few days as new items are added and completed ones dropped. It is at these times that I look for the items that I’ve marked as high priority, but which are just not getting done.
People often say I have great self-control. In truth, though, much of it is environment control. I control my environment to eliminate things that I might use to procrastinate. Take games off your computer, for example, sell your TV, and get rid of the busywork jobs that you use to avoid the important tasks.
I have developed one effective habit that has helped break me of procrastination: “Do the worst thing first.” At the beginning of every day, I do the one task that is causing me the most stress, and that I haven’t been getting done. Sometimes I just give it a quarter of an hour based on the theory that I can stand just about anything for 15 minutes. Frequently it is this short thrust that breaks me through.
If I still find myself procrastinating, I review my reasons for setting a goal. To create extra motivation to complete a task, I strengthen the reasons why it should be done. Similarly, many people reward themselves for completing a job.
6. Organize
Organization and time management are linked. I find that I get important things done when I have all the tools I need to perform the job.
The opposite of organization chaos, clutter, disorganization generally leads to busy work. If your desk is piled high, every piece of paper says “look at me.” You can end up doing a lot of work without ever getting to the important stuff.
7. Delegate
One way to expand your time is to get others to help you with it. The key to delegation is to hand off any tasks that someone else can do significantly faster or more easily than you can.
If you’re protesting that you don’t have anyone working directly for you to whom you can delegate tasks, no problem. Consider delegating to a peer, a superior, a supplier, or even a customer. Treat delegation like networking: who in your network would be best for the job?
In some cases you will need to invest up-front to train someone so he or she can take over a task from you. The long-term savings are usually worth the up-front time and costs.
After delegation, remember to thank appropriately. You might think people would resent being delegated to, but exactly the opposite is true. People like to be asked, especially if it is to do something that they’re good at.
8. Master efficiency tricks
The best trick I have found is “The Power of While.” What can you do while you drive? While you walk? While you clean? While you watch TV? I am a huge audio tape advocate and frequently listen to tapes while I am doing something else.
Being a techno person, I love all the organization software out there that allows me to keep my contacts, to-do lists and appointments. I also use gadgets such as cellphones, wireless e-mail, and personal digital assistants. Good use of technology can save you valuable time.
9. It’s OK to say no
Saying “No” can be the most powerful time tool you can master. When someone asks you to do something, ask yourself how important this is. Does it help you achieve your goals? Is this a task you would be better at than most people? Don’t always look for reasons to get out of things, but be strategic about what you take on.
This doesn’t mean that I always say no when asked to help out. But if I do say no, I am always polite and tactful, and try to suggest someone else who would do the job well.
10. Focus
Committing 100% focus and concentration on one task at a time can be very powerful. Eliminate distractions. Focus on the task. When you’re properly organized and prepared, when your energy and power are high, you can often complete a task in 20% of the time it would take when you’re distracted or open to interruption.
11. Build your efficiency bank
High efficiency is not possible if you don’t look after yourself. Eat right, exercise, sleep well and drink moderately. Mom knew best: all the things she said were good for you just happen to be best for your efficiency, too.
I also believe meditation can be a great way of building your efficiency. It could be transcendental meditation, Zen, or just finding a way to get into a relaxed state that lets you focus on the task you have to do. No matter how you do it, recharging your batteries gives you the power to do more during the times you need to be at your best.
12. Take care of yourself
It isn’t possible to be “on” all the time. Take the time you need to look after yourself body and soul so that you can reach peak efficiency when you need to. Have a list of things you like to do. Find out what activities energize you, and spend more time doing them. This will give you the power and energy to be more productive when you return to work.
Finally, a word of advice. If after reading this far you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, I suggest you go back to Rule 1 and add peace (contentment) to your list of goals. Time management is not about adding stress; it is about giving you the time to be the person you really want to be.
Jim Estill started his business from the trunk of his car and grew into to $375 Million in sales before selling it to SYNNEX. He is now CEO of SYNNEX Canada a $1 Billion computer wholesaler. he is a regular blogger at jimestill.blogspot.com
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Monday, February 2nd, 2009
Self-identity? Who are you really? We identify with many things, but this is just a process in our minds. In fact, this identification causes us to suffer.
Your favorite basketball team loses, and you suffer as though YOU lost. Your car is damaged and it feels like YOU are hurt. Somebody attacks who they think you are, and it is as though they could actually reach inside and poke at your true self. Is there a way to escape this unecessary drama and pain?
Perhaps, if you can see what you are not. Seeing this clearly can free you from much of the suffering that comes from identification. Try this simple meditation.
A Meditation On Self Identity
Get comfortable in a quiet place. Close your eyes, relax and take several deep breaths, breathing through your nose. Let your breathing fall into a natural pattern. Allow tension to drain from your body.
Now begin by asking: Where am I? What am I? Who am I? Let these questions sit for a moment in your mind.
Be aware of your body. Think of your leg. If you lost it, would you cease to exist? Are you your leg? Go through the parts of your body, asking “Am I here?” “Is this my self?”
Open your eyes and look around you. Are you those things? Maybe it you feel pain when your favorite chair breaks, as though it were you. But you’re not that chair. Ask yourself which of these things you own are you. “Am I this?”
Close your eyes and say your name. Do you feel a sense of identity? What if you had no name? Ask “Am I really…” and say your name again. What’s the honest answer? If this one is tough, say “I am…” and insert any other name. Notice how when you call yourself by another name, you feel differently. Your name-identity is a collection of ideas, something seen differently by you and others.
As feelings arise, ask “Am I this fear?.. this pain, desire, sadness, pleasure, anger? Your feelings are not you – they just pass through you. Your clothes, your body, your reputation – none of it is your true self-identity.
Do this meditation for twenty minutes, then take a deep breath and get up. Notice if you feel different – less worried or less attached to things, feelings and thoughts. Do the meditation as often as necessary, to remind you of what you are not.
Steve Gillman has meditated and studied meditation for over twenty years. You can visit his website, and subscribe to The Meditation Newsletter at: http://www.TheMeditationSite.com/newsletter.html
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Friday, January 30th, 2009
I show my clients a way to answer the question, “So, What Do You
Do?” quickly and effectively. What I sometimes hear afterwards
is, “Anna that works great, people now ‘get’ what I do and say,
‘Yeah, I could sure do with help like that’ but they’re still
not hiring me. What am I doing wrong? I get them talking about a
problem and help them arrive at a solution. I then ask if they
want some more coaching. They respond, ‘No, I’m fine at the
moment, I’ll let you know’. ” Coaches feel tempted to start
coaching right then and there. It’s a natural tendency because
we are good problem-solvers and want to showcase our ability as
competent coaches. Next time someone shows interest in your
coaching, ask questions to discover some of their challenges -
BUT DON’T TRY TO SOLVE THEM at this time. You see…they don’t
need a “freebie” session to be convinced you are a good coach.
They need to hear pertinent questions designed to find out is
troubling or impeding them. Show you care enough to find out the
big picture of what is going on and you’ll peak their interest
in hiring you. The idea is leave people wanting more of your
help. Ask, listen carefully and file their answers in your mind.
Then talk about an ideal solution. Not your solution, a general
ideal solution. Use phrases like: “Wouldn’t it be great if you
felt more confident doing ……” “It would probably be ideal if you
could make better decisions that resulted in …… Is that right?”
Here is another common frustration I hear: “I offer a
complimentary coaching session and even then I don’t always
convert them.” What I recommend is to offer a complimentary
coaching assessment session. Where you find out what’s bothering
someone, how bad it is and how committed they are to solving it.
If they are not committed to clearing the problems and moving
ahead or do not have the money, why waste your precious time
(and theirs) going on about how you can help? The simple
question to ask before any coaching gets done is: “How committed
are you to solving this?” If they say “very committed”, then you
can suggest a coaching plan that suits their needs and budget.
You’ll show them that: *You know your stuff by asking questions
that get to the heart of their frustrations *They need your help
- talk about an ideal solution and get their agreement *With
some dedicated coaching from you, they can reach their ideal
solution. *Working with you on X number of sessions will benefit
them in many ways Show professionalism by delving into what is
important to solve and then estimate of the number of coaching
sessions that will help. If a person or organization doesn’t
have the money or determination to clear their issues then we
can safely conclude that they are not our ideal clients and
there are thousands out there who are. Learn more about how Anna
Kanary can help improve your ability to get hired for your
services and attract the kind of clients you love to work with,
by visiting http://www.AnnaKanary.com or join one of Anna’s
high-content, interactive TeleClasses click here to choose the
right one for you. Anna’s Upcoming TeleClasses.
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Monday, January 26th, 2009
There is no accomplishment that has not been tested by life. Success is never a pain-free process. If you have a dream and want to see it come through, you must be ready to show faith in it, during the darkest, most difficult moments. How many of you reached a point when you said “Enough! I give up!” I bet, many. Even I am one among you. But, the truth is that, if you persevere, if you go past the “I give up” phase, if you affirm your faith in your dream, then the Invisible Examiner will see that you are serious about your purpose and will grant you success. Remember, the only way to pass the Examiner’s test is to show faith in action. Here’s how you do it:
Faith Is Like Love: We Must Prove It with Actions
When you love someone with all your heart, you accept that person as who he or she is, including their imperfections and shortcomings. You don’t say “I love you for this, but I hate you for that”, right? And, when the person you love needs your help you do give it, unconditionally. The same happens with faith. When you have faith in your dream, you do so despite the challenges your dream will bring in your path. It’s your dream and it depends only on your actions to fulfill it. So, when the path to fulfillment gets rough, you don’t give up. You show faith, much as you show love for someone when they are going through a hard time that makes that person difficult to deal with.
An example of unshakable faith is J. K. Rowling, the author of “Harry Potter”. She wrote most of her first “Harry Potter” book in coffee shops, because they were heated and she could not afford to pay for heat in her apartment. A single mother without childcare, she carried her baby daughter in a stroller that she kept by her side while writing away Harry Potter’s story, moved by an inner need to continue on until her book was finished. When she submitted her book, it was at first rejected by a number of publishers. She never gave up. Showing faith in her dream through actions, she persevered. She knew all along that writing Harry Potter was her only option, even though she had no way of proving that it would ever become such a tremendous, tremendous success. Her faith in her dream was so strong that lit her path even when it seemed completely dark and hopeless to others. She passed all the tests of her Invisible Examiner with flying colors, until she proved that her faith was stronger than her challenges.
How to Pass the Test of Faith in Your Dream
You too can you show unshakable faith in your dream! Here are some tips to follow when the Examiner tests you and wants to see that you mean business:
1. Meditate. Use silence to connect with your inner core, your creative source, and draw strength and inspiration to pursue your dream.
2. Stay connected with your dream. Write it as a statement and read it again and again. Or create a collage or a drawing of your dream, and keep it in a visible place, so you can see it frequently. It’s amazing how much this simple activity can re-energize your faith.
3. Talk with your inner mentor, or reach out to your physical mentor. In Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life through Movies,, I walk you through the steps of doing this.
4. Talk to an ally. This can be a friend, a coach, your minister, someone you trust and who cares about you.
5. Keep checking your results. Keep a log of your progress, to remind yourself how far you have come since you began pursuing your dream.
6. Ask yourself: “Would I want to go back to where I was before I started pursuing my heart’s desire?” Answer honestly, running through your mind all the aspects of your former life. As long as your answer is, “No way!” you’re on the right track
7. Watch a film with your favorite character who also inspires you. Afterwards, have an imaginary dialogue with him or her. In Reel Fulfillment I show you how to do that.
8. Do one thing that brings your closer to your dream when your faith is challenged. This is how you show your Invisible Examiner that you are not shunned by tests. For example, if you want to be a famous author but your manuscript just got rejected, write a short article and publish it in a local newspaper, or on the internet. You will feel better and continue to look for a publisher who will accept your manuscript.
How Movies Can Help You Stay True to Your Dreams
As your faith in your dreams is challenged, tested or questioned, movies can be great allies to keep you on track. This is what you can do: from the following list, pick one or more movies and watch them alone or with friends.
• Field of Dreams
• October Sky
• Billy Elliot
• Working Girl
• Real Women Have Curves
Questions to answer:
1. What is the main character’s dream and what challenges he/she face?.
2. Through what concrete actions does the main character show faith in his/her dream?
3. How does the universe help the main character after he/she passes the test of Faith?
4. How does the character inspire you to strengthen faith in your dream?
5. Now that you watched this movie, what will you do differently to stay true to your dream?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Maria Grace, Ph.D., is an expert at teaching people how to learn lessons from popular movies to find the job, home, relationship, and healthy body and mind they want. She is a Fulbright scholar, licensed psychotherapist, sought-after public speaker and coach, and the author of “Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life through Movies” (McGraw-Hill, 2005). “Reel Fulfillment” was praised by Publisher’s Weekly as one of the top “self help books out of the self-help box” for 2005-2006.
For more information visit http://www.mariagrace.com and http://www.reelfulfillment.com
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Sunday, January 25th, 2009
A Tribute to Goodness … and those friends I have met on the street, who gave to me the gifts of fairness and compassion, adventure and lust.
By Punkerslut
It is a crime, I confess, on the books of our government to take another’s property without consent. It is this that is called stealing. But it was just this that I did. One store or another, I would walk in, and obtain property, without the consent of the owner. I stole food, and I gave it to those who could not afford it. I gave it to men who looked more ragged than any Hollywood movie could envision, and I gave them a little more than just food to fill their stomachs. I gave them the promise that there is forever at least one Humanitarian in every generation, a hope that life one day will not be one of poverty, a desire to be free and live life well. I am a thief, and I have stolen that the poor, hungry masses might not starve. In the eyes of the state, I am a merciless criminal. I vow to forever battle the peoples’ hunger of food as much as I vow to battle for their hunger of liberty. As long as the shimmering star of life continues to burn in the heavens, there will always be a revolutionary there to resist the brutality of the state’s iniquity. And as long as there as we can see more than just green when we see a forest, as long as we can see more than just white when we see a cloud, as long as we can see more than just blue when we see the ocean, as long as our souls are not deaf to beauty’s inspiration and depth, and as long as our minds are not dormant to the possibilities of hope, we will forever be one marching mass, constantly reaching and clawing, diving deeper in creativity and love, learning more and more by reading the books of experience, and as long as we march on past the blistering winds with our companions, we will enjoy a type of freedom that comes with integrity, and we will have a type of hope that renders results. To this degree of existance and meaning, I can only say this: there are few things I would rather be a part of.
www.punkerslut.com
For Life, Punkerslut
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Sunday, January 18th, 2009
You and I are on an incredible journey at this very moment, dancing in an exciting adventure that takes us into a new expansiveness beyond our imagination. It is a journey of love, one that knows no limits, has no fear, is authentically powerful and reaches for all possibilities. Is this your experience right now? Is your heart smiling with loving endless energy that you are radiating throughout the world, or are you lost in your own fearful limiting patterns, stuck in a box of your making, stagnant in movement?
I invite you to walk this journey with me for a while. I have been on a journey most of my life searching for love, wanting to know and understand this love, and only recently found it in the most unexpected place. Through my journey I often asked other people about love. Many responses were given about what it meant according to their perception – companionship, security, someone to come home to, sexual intimacy, procreation, sharing space, good feelings, belonging, feeling of family – but it wasn’t enough. I knew there was more to real love than was being revealed. So I kept searching. Perhaps you too are searching. You see, finding love is the innate desire of all beings on this planet.
Most people search for love in the physical realm. You know, that zap of “chemistry,” candlelight dinners, warm fuzzy feelings, making love, being together and sharing it all. This is love in the physical realm. Although wonderful and exciting, it does not begin to comprehend the vastness of real love. We all know that physical love can change rather rapidly – our divorce statistics certainly equate this – for physical intimacy provides only short-term gratification with connection that lacks depth. So if physical connections – whether partner/partner, friend/friend or parent/child – do not provide the filled up, satisfying, overflowing love, well then, what does?
The search continued. First was a long marriage, but the love faded away until it was gone. There were five children – they kept me busy and fulfilled and happy for a while it seemed. I was too busy to look further so just accepted this was it, even though I longed to know more. Funny thing though, the kids grew up and moved onto their own path, leaving me behind. I tried one business after another, did well in all of them, but something was always missing. I was empty and my soul cried out for that love. My face told the story of my heart’s condition, for what one is on the inside is mirrored to the outside for all to see. I kept looking.
I continued my journey and some revealing insights came to me. I looked at other people walking past me or even beside me, and saw the same emptiness in many of them. I was puzzled, but also relieved that I wasn’t the only one searching. Most were doing what I was doing, hurrying here and there thus avoiding time to think about the emptiness, filling their lives with busyness. Sadly, the more I accomplished, the more accolades I received, the busier I became, the emptier I was. What a mystery. It surely wasn’t turning out as I had been taught – get married, raise a family, take care of everyone’s needs, work a job perhaps, go to church, live by the “Golden Rule,” give and give, and you will know love.
Oftentimes I’d look back and try to figure out where I went wrong according to my perception. I must have done something wrong or taken a wrong turn. Of course, I thought, the problem is with the marriage; I must have married the “wrong” person. No wonder I couldn’t find love. So perhaps I’ll find another partner who is the “right” one. Ever traveled this path?
Years had gone by, illness overtook me, recovery was slow because of the internal pain. It was during that time that I understood another dimension of illness – emotional pain. As I journeyed this path and explored every nook and cranny for answers, I discovered some wondrous insights and was divinely prompted to write my first book – A Woman’s Path to Wholeness: the Gift is in the Process. My intention had been to write a different book, but I was led down this path. I realized the core of most physical illness is found in the emotional and spiritual realms and many needed to hear these insights. Then one day I came to a crossroad that offered several possibilities. Which one was the right path? How could I know? God intervened and a cosmic two-by-four, strategically placed, got my attention so that I realized I needed to step out of my comfort zone and grow. My entire life began to transform and new doors opened in miraculous ways. My intuition literally exploded with massive force as realms of enlightenment overtook my beingness. Perhaps you’ve experienced this process.
One day, as I rounded a bend, there it was, staring me right in the face, the love I had been searching for all my life. How could I have missed it all this time I wondered? For the love I had longed for, cried for, dreamed of, prayed for and searched for was with me all the time. It was inside of me, right there in my soul and heart, and I couldn’t see it. It was on the other side of the fears – the anger, hurt, shame, guilt, defectiveness, bitterness, blame, manipulation, control, jealousy, pain, and revenge – completely shadowed by them. And the love inside of me was reflecting the love of God from whence I came. I am a child of God! At that moment I realized how magnificent I am, a woman of worth, the embodiment of divine, unconditional, boundless love.
I had work to do to uncover this love. Release, let go, surrender became words to live by. I quit resisting the love and it spilled out to heal the multidimensional wounds of my life experience and let them go. Learning to retrieve the love from its hidden place and remember from whence one came, is not an instant realization. It involves steps to allow it to be revealed, like peeling away layer upon layer of encrusted negative patterns. I had to unconditionally love myself – not an easy assignment after a lifetime of self-incrimination – and to accept that we are all perfectly created from nothing but love. We’ve never been anything else but love as part of the universal, perfect love of our Creator; we just forgot.
So there it was – the secret to finding love – be the love you are seeking and it will find you. I replaced the fear and all its derivatives with loving energies – forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, appreciation, kindness – and the love grew and grew. I glided down the path now without the weight of the past. I forgave the people who according to my perception had hurt me, going beyond the dimension of human comprehension, and there I found love, real love, that moves above the externals of the physical realm and sees the divine light in every soul. I claimed my birthright power in this process and felt the most healing expansiveness I had ever experienced, way beyond the realm of my past knowingness.
Knowing this unconditional love shifts everything in your mindfulness. I looked at the world – all these people screaming out for love – feeling such depth of sadness that it was eluding them as it had me for so long. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that they already had it within them, but I knew they wouldn’t listen. The world looks with different glasses so love seen by their misguided eyes is simply need. This is why love fades away for many – they are trying so hard to use this interpretation of love to validate themselves, to fill up the empty caverns within them, to feel secure, approved of, connected, complete, desired – all of ego.
Most amazing of all is that love doesn’t need to be achieved, it simply is. It’s always there for us and in us just as air is always present to allow us to breathe. Such is real love, divine love, our life-force breathing out to all people on this planet. It has no judgment or expectations. It allows for you to be yourself, standing in your own magnificence, complete as you are. Real love doesn’t require approval, does not judge, and isn’t a manipulative force.
Again my divine guidance came with urgency to put aside the book I was working on and write The Realness of a Woman, A Journey for Seeking, Remembering and Being Who You Are. As the words poured through me I realized the powerful effect of this Divine Consciousness for a world that needs to remember.
The journey to love begins and ends within our hearts and souls. The mirror of life reflects only what it sees. Does your mirror reflect the divine eternal love of your Creator so that your heartspace radiates love to those who walk the path of life with you? Or is your love obscured by the shadows of doubt and fear and hidden from the view of the world as you hide in the “box” you created for your life? Our journey is for our spiritual awakening to the glorious awareness of a life of love. The love you are seeking begins as you!
Written by Rev. Dr. Carolyn Porter, speaker, trainer, energy healer, publisher, minister and author of A Woman’s Path to Wholeness, The Realness of a Woman and Put the Dynamo in Your Communication. The following excerpt is taken from her book, The Realness of a Woman, A Journey for Seeking, Remembering & Being Who You Are.
“Real love doesn’t need to be achieved, it simply is. Once you have obtained the knowingness
of love as the Universe intended us to feel, nothing in your life will ever be the same again,
and you will see that the love of the world is not really love, it is need. This awareness can
transform your life and create a passion that grows and grows, a passion for life itself as you
realize the greatness already within your being. It is recognizing this greatness that already
lies within you that gives you realness in being the wonderful woman you really are, one who
is genuinely in love with herself!
This book is written for those women who seek more from life, who know they are more and
are searching to be revealed. Your journey through these pages is solely to substantiate
enlightenment of your soul, the place where you are real. As you read this book, yearn to
understand the relevance of knowing the depth and breath of divine love, for the love you are
knowing is you. Love is all there is.”
Carolyn Porter, D. Div., is an Inspirational Speaker, Author of multiple books, ebooks and audios, Trainer, Spiritual Wholeness Coach and Energy Facilitator who has experienced the thrill of knowing and feeling love, first for herself, and then for others. As a result, love pours into her life, being the magnet for attracting that love.
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Wednesday, January 14th, 2009
I have seen and heard lot of people giving excuses for their inability to act out their dreams. The truth of the matter is that there is hardly anybody existing on this earth that does not have a dream or an object of desire. But the unfortunate thing is that majority put up reasons why they couldn’t or wouldn’t live their dreams.
When a dream comes to the mind of so many people, the first thing they do is to ask themselves, where the resources to achieve the dream will come from. Some people even doubt if they have the abilities to carry out such a dream. Another crippling question most ask is, “What if I fail?” This is the most debilitating of all the reasons people don’t achieve much in life. They tend to focus more on the impeding failure than success! Once this question comes to mind, you will start thinking of people who will mock you when you fail and this will stop you from even taking a step.
How many times have we heard the word, “No pain, No gain?” What meaning does this word bring up in your mind? It is always frightening to take risks and try new things but those who try are those who succeed. If the Wright brothers have been crippled by the fear of failure, we will not have had the aeroplane today and we will be spending days, if not months, to get to our various destinations, for a journey of a few hours by the aeroplane. Other technological advancements also wouldn’t have been possible if the thought of failure has predominated the mind of their architects.
One truth about failure/mistake is that we will keep making one as long as we are still humans. Your decision not to act may even be a GREATER mistake because you never can tell what you would have become if you have acted on your dreams. Mistakes make one grow in wisdom, experience and character. In order words, you will become wiser for just having tried.
Rick Warren, the author of “Purpose Driven Life”, writes: “I could have taken a hundred gift and ability tests as a young man and would NEVER have discovered that I was gifted at teaching, because I had never done it! It was only after I began accepting opportunities to speak that I saw the results, received confirmation from others and realised God has gifted me to do this.” The same is applicable to every one of us; we never can tell what we can do unless we try.
So anytime a dream comes to your mind, instead of asking what if you fail, the question should be: “What if I don’t try?” Will you be able to imagine all the opportunities you will lose? Unless you are willing to risk getting involved, you are not going to know what you are good at.
The road to success is never mistake-free, but then neither is road to failure. So my dear, the choice is yours. I don’t know what it will be like for you when you are on your death bead and you looked back at how you spent your life and it says: “When it came time to die, I had not lived!” This is my greatest fear and it should be your only fear. Will you look back at your life and be happy or will it be full of regret?
Remember: THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
It is my greatest desire that this will be a year of great fulfilment for you.
This is to your success this year,
Adebola A. Oni
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Monday, January 5th, 2009
Could you stand to have a lot more happiness in your life? I’ve tried all kinds of self-help techniques and have suddenly found much more happiness and fun than ever before. It’s fast, it’s easy, and you can see results within a week. I was inspired by two sources: the movie, “What the Bleep Do We Know,” and the Laugh Doctor, Dr. Cliff Kuhn. To find more happiness, let’s take a look at FUN vs. FRUSTRATION.
Amazing revelations in the movie, “What the Bleep Do We Know” inform us that when we become frustrated our brains release “frustration chemicals” that attach to the cells in our bodies creating a supply and demand for frustration in the form of an addiction. Frustration is probably not what you’d consider to be your drug of choice, and yet we all keep demanding it. To break this cycle, the movie suggests that we begin to monitor our emotional reactions.
After a frustration binge, monitor your emotional reaction by asking yourself these questions. “What am I resisting?” “Why do I have to be right?” “What am I telling myself about this situation or person?” “Can I give up being right?” “Do I really want to keep feeling this way?” When we take responsibility for our addictions and our reactions the automatic response cycle begins to dissolve and we can make new choices.
We could choose happiness! Why not? Happiness feels a lot better than frustration. According to Dr. Cliff Kuhn, “To be happy, you’re going to find out, you need to take your responsibilities seriously, but yourself less so!” Based on Dr. Kuhn’s advice, I have become a Fun Addict. I have decided to be amused by every thing and everyone. Remember that people say what is true for them, and we don’t have to agree. We can choose to be amused. By having fun with people instead of believing they are out to offend us, most of the things that would have been upsetting will just flow right by.
By committing to being amused, we can experience fun instead of frustration. Occasionally we may falter in our goal to avoid frustration, but we can still monitor that reaction which will begin to dissolve the addiction. You can implement these 3 daily steps to immediately create more happiness in your life:
*Smile.
Besides making people wonder what you’ve been up to, smiling also reminds you that you’re supposed to be having fun.
*Commit to Being Amused.
Be curious, intrigued, and amused by people and events. Don’t take yourself so seriously . . . think comedy instead of drama.
*Monitor Your Frustration.
Question your reactions and beliefs. To kick the frustration habit, you’ll have to take a good look at it.
It is spectacular to have good relationships in my life now, instead of the havoc and strain that I was causing because of my addiction to frustration. We can all stand to lighten up a little bit or a lot. What’s incredible, is that the people around us will lighten up too, so we can literally change the world one person at a time. That’s an enormous goal but I think it can be a fun habit.
But then, what the bleep do I know? Try it for yourself!
Recommended Resources:
“What the Bleep Do We Know” movie . . . http://www.whatthebleep.com
The Laugh Doctor, Dr. Cliff Kuhn . . . http://www.natural-humor-medicine.com
©Dawn Breeze-George. Reprint rights granted with article and resource box intact.
Discover powerful Health Enhancing information, and register to win a FREE trip to Tahiti at http://www.nonijuice.bravehost.com/dawn.html
Dawn Breeze-George is a Licensed Massage Therapist, Holistic Practitioner and Reiki Master. Dawn has been practicing Holistic healing for more than 18 years, and is committed to healing the body, mind, and spirit.
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Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
>From our first day on earth until our last, we face different levels of adversity. Adversity may be sickness, a property loss, or the loss of a family member. It may be a lost career promotion or a business setback. How we handle these adversities defines how we achieve greatness in our lives.
Let me share the story of James Blake, who overcame multiple adversities, more than most of us would ever experience in a lifetime and yet achieved greatness. James Blake is a world class professional tennis player enjoying fame and making a six-figure income. However, in his childhood, he developed a rare disease that required him to wear a body brace for years. Other kids teased him, calling him “Iron Man” from the Marvel Comic Books, and he felt left out. During this time, he concentrated on his academics, read a wide variety of books, and developed himself as a well-rounded person. He also developed a heightened awareness for others who are going through difficult times.
Once he had the brace removed, he learned to play tennis with an intense passion not exhibited by many other tennis players, because he appreciated the opportunity to finally play tennis. He didn’t take this opportunity for granted. He attended Harvard and became the #1 player on their tennis team.
As a promising professional player, adversity struck again. In 1994, while practicing for a major tournament, he slipped and fell forward striking his neck against the metal pole that holds the tennis net. James’s doctor said that had James not slightly turned his head, James would have broken his vertebra and become paralyzed from the neck down. Instead, he was hospitalized with a fractured vertebra, blurred vision, and dizziness.
While in the hospital, James did much soul searching. Many family members and friends came by to offer encouragement, advice, and support. His coach was a constant bedside companion and finally asked James, “Do you want to play tennis again?” James said “yes,” and they developed a plan to start his comeback.
With the support of family, friends, and his coach, James started his comeback step by painful step. At first when he tried to play tennis, he still had to overcome his blurred vision and dizziness. He had doubts whether he would ever handle the 125 mph plus serves of his opponents.
Then he suffered another setback. During his rehabilitation, his father, with whom he had a very close relationship, developed cancer and passed away. During his father’s sickness, James was by his side. After his father passed away, James was devastated. However, he regrouped and carried on with the support of his mother, family, friends, and coach.
He returned to playing professional tennis, and there were many more losses than wins. But he stayed focused and determined and progressively improved. He began playing the top professional players competitively, and he began winning against the top players. Then he once again started winning tournaments. After this long journey, James became one of the top players in the world.
What can we learn from James Blake’s journey through adversity to greatness? The following are three keys to making adversity work for you:
1. If it Doesn’t Kill You, It Makes you Stronger Many times we face adversities and say, “If only I can make it through this.” It may be a sickness, loss of a loved one, job loss, etc. By remaining focused, determined, and concentrating on the positive, many times you can become stronger.
Parents are now sheltering their children against any little adversity for fear it might be painful. I say allow your children to “grow up” and stop sheltering them from adversity. Teach them how to make adversity work for them. These adversities and the way they handle the adversities will define who they are and prepare them for challenges in the future. Some of our greatest business leaders, scientists, engineers, inventors, humanitarians, and sport heroes became the people they are because they overcame adversity.
2. Adversity Often Develops Unknown Talents Once the door of adversity closes one opportunity to you, the door of greatness often opens another. James Blake, first during his sicknesses and then after, developed his awareness of helping other unfortunate people. Now he runs free tennis programs for disadvantaged children. Before his sickness, James was not known for his concentration and focus on the tennis court. After his sickness, he developed and became known for his mental toughness. When experiencing adversity, ask yourself, “What positive thing can come out of this?”
3. Adversity Rallies Your Resources While James was sick, many resources arrived to help him. First, he had the time to step back to reflect on his life, goals, mission, and values. Second, he was able to obtain sound advice from family, friends, and others that he might not have been able to receive while traveling on the road. His setbacks allowed him to take time to summon resources (advice, help, etc.) he would not have realized if he had been traveling non-stop. He made his “downtime” work for him.
When adversity comes, don’t avoid it; attack adversity with all your resources. The way you manage adversity will define who you are and ready you for future opportunities, because adversity can be your seed of greatness.
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